New Purell Product for Politicians: Mouth Sanitizer
(2006-10-28) — On the very day that the New York Times featured a major investigative piece about the use of hand sanitizer by politicians on the campaign trail, the makers of the popular brand Purell announced release of a new product made specifically for politicians and people like them — Purell Mouth Sanitizer.
While the hand gel is shown to kill 99.9 percent of germs and bacteria which are often spread by human contact, the new mouth sanitizer was formulated to prevent the viral spread of dirty, bitter and vitriolic political speech.
According to a news release from the company, “Just a quick squirt, swish and spit before stepping up to the microphone and Purell Mouth Sanitizer eliminates not only the words that make others sick, but it even protects a politician from speech that can harm one’s own career, thanks to a special ingredient we call Gaffe-B-Gone.”
Purell designed the product for the political niche market, however it will soon be available over the counter for home use by the general public, and experts say divorce lawyers could be hardest hit.
While an unnamed company spokesman said she expects Purell Mouth Sanitizer to be a hit, she cautioned that it only deals with the outward symptoms, not the source.“Our scientists are still working on that,” she said, “but unfortunately the launch of Purell Heart & Mind Sanitizer is still several years off.”
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