Friday's Daily Om was right on the mark for me:
Where You Need To BeI have a tendency to judge myself by external factors, such as what other people my age have accomplished, or how they live their lives. I tend to think that I have squandered potential because I have done nothing signifigant and people always told me I would, expected I would until I began to expect it, too.
Timing Can Be Everything
Since human timetables quite often do not correspond with universal timetables, it's common for people to feel that life is progressing too slowly or too quickly. We draft carefully composed plans only to find that they fall into place when we least expect. Or, conversely, we are thrust into roles we believe we are not prepared for and wonder how we will survive the demands imposed upon us by unfamiliar circumstances. When delays in our progress kindle pangs of disappointment within us or the pace of life seems overwhelming, peace can be found in the simple fact that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment.
Every person fulfills their purpose when the time is right. If you have fast-tracked to success, you may become deeply frustrated if you discover you can no longer satisfy your desires as quickly as you might like. Yet the delays that disappoint you may be laying the foundation for future accomplishments that you have not yet conceived. Or the universe may have plans for you that differ from the worldly aspirations you have pursued up until this point. What you deem a postponement of progress may actually represent an auspicious opportunity to prepare for what is yet to come. If, however, you feel as though the universe is pushing you forward at too fast a clip, you may be unwittingly resisting your destiny. Your unease regarding the speed of your progress could be a sign that you need to cultivate awareness within yourself and learn to move with the flow of fate rather than against it. The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can res! t assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation.
You may feel compelled to judge your personal success using your age, your professional position, your level of education, or the accomplishments of your peers as a yardstick. Yet we all enjoy the major milestones in our lives at the appropriate time-some realize their dreams as youngsters while others flourish only in old age. If you take pride in your many accomplishments and make the most of every circumstance in which you find yourself, your time will come.
Instead, I wasted many years of my life (notice the self-judging that automatically jumps out) in a drug and alcohol daze. I cringe at how much that set me back in my life, how it derailed so much of what I could have accomplished with youthful energy and enthusiasm.
But I also know that if I hadn't had that experience, I wouldn't be the person who is sitting here typing this.
I'd probably be a suit with 2.4 kids and a mortgage I'll never be able to pay off. And any time now, I'd probably go to a gun shop, buy a semi-automatic rifle, and take down an office full of idiots before performing suicide by cop. So there is something to be said for drug abuse.
Anyway, it's hard for me to find value and worth from internal measures because I was conditioned by my family, by my schools, by my peers, to find my worth in how I measure up against others. It's a terrible thing we do to kids in not teaching them to find value in who they are, in their unique gifts and strengths. But I think it's changing, at least a little bit.
Certainly, there are a lot of factors that play into this, not least of which is income and social status. Lower income families (like mine) also tend to be lower education families, which limits to a great extent how parents raise their kids. Less imformation, more limited viewpoints, fewer options all contribute to parents raising their kids to be a part of the tribe, to not make waves, to keep up with the Smiths.
That was my background. I think one of the things that I-I is lacking (at least in what I've seen) is an awareness of how much economic status limits people's options. ILP is a fun hobby for affluent people. But the real change needs to occur in the inner cities, in the barrios, wherever poverty is limiting options, right here, right now.
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6 comments:
Bill--
"The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can res! t assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation."
I guess I'd like to be able to agree with this. But I don't see that "the universe" purposely puts anything in our path or that we are always confronted with what we're capable of handling. Some seem to be confronted with more, much more, than that.
Nevertheless, I agree that we can try to face every trying circumstance with as much wisdom and equanimity as possible and, at least, increase our mastery over ourselves rather than let challenging circumstances increase THEIR mastery over us.
I also agree with you that where you are now may well be a better place than where you would be if you had pursued a more "normal" course. In any case, you are where you are. As I see it, in my "fatalistic" way, you couldn't have chosen a course that put you anywhere else given who you were and what you circumstances were, so draw upon all of your strength and wisdom to make the most of things now and from now on.
Finally, I wholeheartedly agree with you that I-I or some organization espousing the integral worldview and approach needs to make its insights available to the people who need them most, and this is not necessarily only the more educated and affluent people I-I targets now.
Hey Steve,
Yeah, I'm not too sure about that whole "Life doesn't give you any challenge you can't handle" thing. Tell that to someone dying from cancer.
You said: "As I see it, in my "fatalistic" way, you couldn't have chosen a course that put you anywhere else given who you were and what you circumstances were."
I disagree. At any moment along the way I could have made a different choice -- millions upon millions of different choices could have been made -- and each one would have resulted in a different life right now. Within certain constraints, I chose this life (up to the point where external elements interferred from time to time). For example, I have arthritis in my knees and wrists -- this is a result of choosing to play sports, choosing to play while injured, and choosing to use supplements to treat the disease allows me to lift weights and play racquetball with very little pain. The end of my relationship with Kira is also, in part, a result of decisions I made or did not make -- certainly she made some choices that led us to this place, as well.
But you are right, and the article is right -- this is my life. I am here, it doesn't suck, and I have health, friends, and a fair living. I should just shut up and quit whining.
Peace,
Bill
" At any moment along the way I could have made a different choice -- millions upon millions of different choices could have been made -- and each one would have resulted in a different life right now."
If you could have made different choices than the ones you did, why didn't you?
That's a question I have asked myself many times. We do what we do.
Yes, Bill, "we do what we do," and, as best I can tell, we couldn't have done anything else under those same exact circumstances.
--Steve
ebuddha,
Thanks for adding your thoughts -- I agree with what you wrote, so I guess it wasn't that muddled.
Peace,
Bill
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