So here are a couple of feeble first attempts.
[image source]quiet moon
song-dog howls --
desert night
[image source]red-tail hawk
circles overhead --
soft prayer
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Haiku
I'm trying a new (for me) American form of haiku (suggested by Kai) that has more structure than the Western version that rejects the 5-7-5 structure. This form aims at a 3-4-3 structure to more closely approximate the sparseness of the original Japanese forms.
So here are a couple of feeble first attempts.
[image source]
quiet moon
song-dog howls --
desert night
[image source]
red-tail hawk
circles overhead --
soft prayer
So here are a couple of feeble first attempts.
[image source]quiet moon
song-dog howls --
desert night
[image source]red-tail hawk
circles overhead --
soft prayer
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2 comments:
Among the qualities that exemplifies a good haiku, to my thinking, is a sense of tension and irresolution between the juxtaposed images (at the same time that one creates very vivid images). In the second poem above, you've created a vivid image, but the first also has a surprise ("song dog": what a frisson of confusion, then recognition, then appreciation reading those words!) and it also has the feeling tension between the moon's silence and coyote's call. The last two words contextualize everything, giving just enough information to interpret the rest. A strong poem.
Kai in NYC
Now you've inspired me to try something new. I'll have to think on this for a while though. This is even more difficult than regular haiku.
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