Al-Jazeera Refuses to Air O.J. Special
'Not Up to Our Standards of Taste,' Says Satellite Net
The Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network, which gained international notoriety for putting some of the most renowned sociopaths in the world on the air, today became the second network to refuse to broadcast the controversial O.J. Simpson special, "If I Did It."
After the Fox network cancelled their airdate for the Simpson special, producer Judith Regan immediately sent a tape of the program to top executives at the Al-Jazeera network in the hopes that the media outlet who made a star our of Osama bin Laden would be a good fit for Mr. Simpson.
But after reviewing the tape of the Simpson program, Al-Jazeera executives decided that "If I Did It" was a non-starter at their network.
"O.J. Simpson certainly qualifies as a delusional madman, which is the bread and butter of our broadcast schedule," said Al-Jazeera spokesman Hassan El-Medfaii. "Having said that, 'If I Did It,' is not up to our standards of taste."
While some media observers took the Al-Jazeera statement at face value, insiders close to the decision not to air the O.J. special said that the network was "queasy about getting into business with Judith Regan."
Instead, the network has decided to broadcast a new special starring Mr. bin Laden, entitled, "If I Declared a Global Jihad, Here's How It Would Have Gone Down."
According to those who have seen the special, Mr. bin Laden's program is a ninety-minute hate-filled rant, but not as vicious as Michael Richards.
Elsewhere, President Bush said that the U.S. has now been involved in Iraq longer than in World War II, adding, "And all I got was this lousy t-shirt."