[image source]
This is the Rigpa Glimpse of the Day:
Don’t we know, only too well, that protection from pain doesn’t work, and that when we try to defend ourselves from suffering, we only suffer more and don’t learn what we can from the experience? As Rilke wrote, the protected heart that is “never exposed to loss, innocent and secure, cannot know tenderness; only the won-back heart can ever be satisfied: free, through all it has given up, to rejoice in its mastery.”I'm going to go off on a rant here, so please bear with me.
~ Sogyal Rinpoche
In our culture, we seem to value youth, beauty, and perfection. We want smooth skin, perfect bodies, flat emotions, and any number of other things that actually deny life and living. We do not want to be touched by life or the world.
We do not want scars, so we use creams to make scars disappear. We do not want hard emotions, so we takes drugs that flatten our affect until we feel very little. We do not want wrinkles or sags, so we get plastic surgery to smooth everything out. We do not want gray hair, so we color our hair to hide that reality of our aging.
All of these things are ways of denying our life. Rather than face the truth of aging and death, we fight it tooth and nail, deny it as much as possible, then rage that we will not go gently into that good night.
But we can't escape suffering and death -- we can only delay it until later. If we embrace our suffering, accept it, befriend it, then it will lack the power to shadow our every thought and action. Unless we do this, our whole lives will be about suffering.
When we resist suffering, it feels solid, dense, formidable. It can appear to be like a wall that we can't climb over, find a way around, or punch our way through. But if we accept our suffering, and get to know it, then it is no more imposing than a stream we must cross. Our feet might get wet, but we do not fear drowning.
If we could spend some time learning to swim in the creek, our lives might feel a lot lighter.
Technorati Tags: Sogyal Rinpoche, Rigpa, Glimpse of the Day, Buddhism, Suffering, Resistance
2 comments:
Bill, my intuition agrees with you. The less we resist suffering, the less we suffer. But isn't trying not to escape suffering a subtle way of trying not to suffer? How do we stop trying not to escape suffering without trying to escape suffering? By understanding the futility of trying not to escape suffering in order not to suffer? Isn't this still an even subtler way of trying not to suffer? That is, aren't we ultimately trying to understand the aforementioned futility in order not to suffer?
Also, you say that our clinging to perfect youth and beauty is a futile attempt to escape the inevitable imperfections within ourselves and the world. But how would you characterize the degree to which you cultivate physical fitness in yourself and make it your livelihood to help others do the same in themselves? When you work out or guide others in their workouts, is this only to build and sustain a wholesome level of strength, stamina, and vitality, or does it go beyond this? Are you and your clients also fighting a futile battle to escape inescapable imperfection, suffering, and, ultimately, death? I ask this as someone too lazy to work out but who wants to do it anyway and wonders how far he should take it if he ever does.
Namaste,
Steve
Hi Steve,
You raise some good points. In answer to the first part: I think it comes down to intent. I embrace my suffering to learn what it has to teach me, not to escape. The first noble truth: Life is suffering. The only escape is death, then you get to do it again. So we might as well learn what our suffering has to teach us, which can often lead to decreased suffering, or at least a decrease in intensity or duration.
As for the second part: Many of my clients have no hope of ever "looking good." They simply want to avoid the heart attack, diabetes, or arthritis that awaits them if they do not lose some weight. A few want to look good naked. I only have one (a model) who is totally neurotic about the whole thing.
As for myself, I fall into the wanting to look good naked category in part, but more I want to have a strong functional body so that I can do anything I choose without having to worry about my body being a limiting factor. I'm also a bit addicted to lifting heavy weights, so that adds to it. All of which means I look okay, I don't have a six pack (usually a four pack), and I'm not terribly large (6' 0", 206 lbs.).
The reality of my job is that I see few people who already look good but are vain and want to look perfect. They wouldn't like me anyway. The people I see mostly want avoid dying young, or have lived a long life and want to make the end of it as pain free as possible.
Post a Comment