Dealing with Inner Turmoil

[turmoil]

I posted this piece at the Integral Relationship pod this morning:

When I hit a growth period, in the past at least, everything goes to hell. I become more self-obsessed, withdrawn, and emotionally distant. If I could be sent to live in a cave until it passes, that would probably be the best option for everyone.

But that isn't possible. I live in a world where I have to relate to people daily, and in a relationship with someone I love. She has to go through these periods with me, for better or worse, as the ad says. It's not fair to her to lose me for a few months, which is what happened last summer when my mother and sister both passed away and I was already in the midst of upheaval as a result of therapy when that happened.

So, it's fair to say that Kira has a reason to be concerned that I am in another of those upheaval periods. But this one feels different. I am less attached to the material that is trying to work itself out. And I feel capable of letting my psyche do its thing without me being sucked into the storm. I credit my practice with this new ability to stay centered in the midst of a storm.

More importantly, I feel able to assure Kira that I will not withdraw this time, that I will honor and protect our connection. And I feel that it's fair to ask Kira to trust that I can do so.

Navigating periods like these in our lives is tough, for both partners in a relationship. But how we grow together will determine whether we stay together or grow apart.

How do you handle turbulent growth periods in your lives? How do you and your partner work as a team in these times? Or do you? Maybe this is something each person must do on her/his own. I'd love hear what you all think about this topic, how you work with it.

And then this was in my in-box from the Daily Om, my horoscope for today (please note that I do not take horoscopes seriously, but this one was a little synchronicity laden):

Time For Contemplation
Taurus Daily Horoscope

You might notice a desire to think about weighty topics today, which could initiate a deep search for the overall purpose of your existence. The smaller details in life may not seem as important to you today, and you may find through this soul-searching that it is difficult to concentrate on aspects of your daily routine. Perhaps you could make an effort to set aside a specific amount of time to think about the deeper issues that seem important to you. You can try to work through some of your more mundane tasks and then give yourself a break to reflect upon more profound subjects. You may find that it becomes easier to think seriously once you have cleared away distractions and have created the mental space to do so.

Giving ourselves a time and place for reflection allows us to concentrate more deeply on our thoughts. There are times when we find that our thoughts pull us out of the world, and we use them as an escape from what we need to do. Conversely, we might be distracted from our reflections by thinking about other subjects that may not have great meaning for us. Setting aside a specific time for contemplation, however, gives us the opportunity to focus on what we truly find important. We set a date with ourselves that allows us to fully enter our search for understanding—and gain more profound insights as a result. By allowing yourself time for reflection today, you will uncover deeper meaning in your quest for awareness.

Hmmm . . . maybe the Kosmos is trying to tell me something. Or maybe I'm looking for "signs" to provide a meaningful framework for my interior life. Or maybe it's just my imagination having some fun with my rational mind.

Who cares?

I'm home for the day, and it's time to do some of that there contemplatin' stuff.


Technorati Tags: Integral Relationships, Zaadz, Inner Work, Contemplation, THE MEANING OF LIFE, Daily Om, Horoscope