Guest Post: Kira Freed on Art Therapy and Voice Dialogue

[Preface: In the interest of full disclosure for those who don't already know, Kira is my partner. What follows is an example of how she uses art therapy and a variation on the voice dialogue process developed by Hal and Sidra Stone to explore and heal inner material.

Voice dialogue, for those in the integral crowd, is the process that Genpo Roshi has revisioned into Big Mind. The process allows parts of ourselves (sometimes fully developed selves called subpersonalities) to be worked with as objects so that the self as subject can create some distance. This distance allows us to see various elements of the psyche (subs, qualities, shadow elements, or emotions) as states of consciousness rather than as traits of the self.]

I sat down last week to do some art. I was feeling agitated and didn’t know why. I cleared my mind, put my hands on the blank paper, and asked what wanted to come out. I did my best to just get out of the way and allow whatever wanted out to emerge.

Bands of blue, blue-green, and purple came out, along with a faint yellow area lined with red. As soon as these patches of color emerged, I felt a compelling impulse to rub the colors. I rubbed as if grinding the chalk pastel dust into the paper -- almost as if trying to obliterate the color. Years ago I almost always felt this impulse after drawing, as though trying to blot out what had come out, as if to obliterate my natural impulses. I was surprised to experience that impulse again after years of its absence.

After I finished this picture, I turned to a blank sheet of paper, and the following dialogue spontaneously emerged. I felt an impulse to write one voice with my dominant hand and the other voice with my nondominant hand.

Right (nondominant) hand: Let me go. I don't want to live anymore.

Left (dominant) hand: Who are you?

RH: Your pain. Your dulling.

LH: How can I help you let go? Is that what you really want?

RH: You don't need me anymore. I can swim on my own.

LH: Where will you go?

RH: Back to the ethers. I have served my purpose.

LH: What was your purpose?

RH: To help you stay alive. You made it. I can go now.

LH: I want to thank you for keeping me alive. I reeeeally appreciate what you did. How can I release you?

RH: I am glad you made it. Now I must leave. I am in your way.

LH: Do you need anything from me?

RH: Your blessings. Don't try to hold me back.

LH: I won't. I trust that you know what's best. You have my blessings.

RH: Thank you.

LH: What will happen to me without you?

RH: You will FLOURISH.

LH: I don't know how to let go.

RH: You don't need to — I am leaving.

LH: Okay. Goodbye — safe journey.

After the dialogue ended, I drew another picture. This time I felt no impulse to blot anything out. Instead, an organic whole emerged, like a blossoming flower with strong roots. Something in me had released. All I had to do was give it a way out.

Tags: voice dialogue, art therapy, Big Mind, Hal Stone, inner work, Kira Freed