Monday, August 14, 2006

Bugs Bunny and the Democrats

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William Kristol of the Weekly Standard is always a load of fun to read. My guess is that I'm not supposed to laugh, but he's much funnier than Ann Coulter.

In today's column, he says:
Ned Lamont's victory over Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut primary was a triumph for the European wing of the Democratic party. So it's fitting that Lamont is pro-carrot. It was impossible to go to Europe during Bush's first term without getting a lecture about the utility of carrots, the futility of sticks, and the Bush administration's regrettable neglect of the former and unfortunate proclivity for the latter. So Lamont is an appropriate spokesman for what one might call the Bugs Bunny caucus that now dominates the Democratic party.
Now wait just a minute. I'll be the first to agree that the Democrats can't seem to articulate any kind of coherent stance on anything. But Bugs Bunny was brilliant. If he were running the Democratic party instead of the frightened middle-of-the-road Dems currently in charge, things would be a lot different.

First of all, Bugs was certainly not above using the same forms of manipulation that Karl Rove has so successfully used to control the national debate. He would willingly use trickery, deceipt, and flat out cheating to defeat Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, and Wile E. Coyote. He would do the same to defeat Republicans.

Not only that, but he was a master at using his enemy's attacks to his own advantage. I can't count the number of times Bugs found a way to get Elmer to shoot himself in the face. It's as though Bugs had thoroughly mastered The Art of War.

A key to the philosophy of the Art of War is to know oneself so well that there is no question of what you believe. But this is not enough. You must also know your enemy as well as they know themselves. Bugs Bunny was a master of this strategy. The Dems could learn well by studying Bugs' victories over Marvin the Martian. He suffered some damage, but he knew his strengths and he knew Marvin's weaknesses well enough to save the Earth from total destruction.

Bugs Bunny was a true patriot, as well. He even promoted war bonds during World War II. He would make the Dems strong on national defense and refuse to tolerate dictators and thugs.

He also was a strong believer in property rights. When a new freeway threatened to force him from his home, he fought the development tooth and nail. Eventually he won and forced them to build the new highway around his home. He believed a man's home is his castle.

No, Mr. Kristol has it all wrong. If Bugs were in control of the Democratic party, Bush would be back in Texas licking his wounds and watching a drunken Cheney shoot some more people in the face.

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