Like most people, I don't much enjoy when people don't like me, especially those I once called friends. And contrary to some opinions, doing the right thing does not make anyone heroic, it simply makes them people who do the right thing.
I can be, and have been defensive when attacked for my stance on some issues. That's my weakness. But I do not regret my position. I only regret not having presented it with more compassion. Life is full of hard lessons.
Conscious Decisions: Going Against What Is Popular
Because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.
Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion.
It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behavior. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.
This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.
What do you think? Discuss this article and share your opinion.
2 comments:
One of the things I most value about you is your decisions to be honest when something you've said isn't quite right. I am so thoroughly done with the swordfighting of supposedly integral people, most often men, who are just jockeying for position at the top. Dead sick of it. And I am not the only one, by far. So many people I know want absolutely nothing to do with this brand of macho-gral.
By the same token, you've held your ground and convinced me once or twice with that same integrity, and I've reconsidered some stuff. There aren't that many people who have that kind of sway with me, as you probably know!
Thank you Liz. There is a VERY short list of people whose opinions matter to me, and you and certainly one of those few people - you both challenge me and support me. I can't ask for more in a friend.
Deep bow of respect.
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