Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Random Thoughts on Life

It's time for me to go to bed (since I have to get up early tomorrow), but my mind is active and I am not ready to sleep.

I've been thinking about my life quite a bit in the last few days (free time will do that to me). I find myself in one of those in-between places, ready to move on from personal trainer to therapist, but knowing it will still be several years before I can practice as a therapist.

And then there is the fact that a few months ago, I thought my life would be going in a different direction, that I'd have a partner in this new adventure and transition, but that didn't work out. More and more it seems that the old adage that life doesn't always give you what you want, but usually gives what you need, is true.

I wanted that relationship to work, but I also needed the experience of being loved and of loving someone else -- without conditions. It was good even if it didn't progress as I had hoped.

So I am still a writer and trainer, though I'm doing less writing than I would like. I love blogging, and that, too, is a kind of useful endeavor.

But what I am seeing more and more is that my clients need help in ways I am not yet qualified to offer.

I like being a trainer, and I suspect that one way or another, it will continue to be a part of my life even when I am licensed as a therapist. My dream is to have an office with a consulting room, and another room set up as a miniature gym. There are a few therapists around who "analyze" their clients while putting them through a workout. I like that idea -- but I know it's only for some clients, not all.

So right now, I am living in another kind of liminal space. I'm not the person I was a few months ago, but I'm not yet the person I want to become. I have a hard time with patience, so maybe that is my lesson now -- to live as comfortably as possible in this in-between place.

Who knows? I'm just thinking out loud.

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