Satire: President "Not Satisfied" with Iraq War

Some good clean fun from Big Red Buddha:

President "Not Satisfied" with Iraq War
Written by Miso
Thursday, 26 October 2006

WASHINGTON -- Citing 93 American casualties so far this month and escalating public discontent with the Administration's middle east policies, President Bush told a White House press gathering Wednesday that he's "not satisfied" with the Iraq war.

"I know many Americans are not satisfied with the situation in Iraq," the President said. "I'm not satisfied, either."

When asked to clarify his remarks, Bush termed the Iraq conflict a "poor value" for America's defense dollar, and insists that it be made more interesting to the average TV viewer.

"Like we say in Texas," the President laughed, "If you're gonna vacation down on the ranch, you gotta cut some brush."

Bush says public anger against the Iraq war actually amounts to frustration over the conflict's dwindling benefit to American consumers.

"I mean, take that whole 'Shock and Awe' thing," explained Bush. "That was fun -- made for some fine TV. But we're just not getting a lot of that anymore."

At an estimated cost of $6300 per second, the Iraq war is shaping into one of the most expensive foreign adventures in U.S. history. But the White House today unveiled a plan designed to return more war value to restless Republican voters in the final weeks weeks before the November elections.

The plan -- dubbed Operation Enduring Majority by GOP insiders -- calls for a dramatically increased program of "signature" photo ops, and a new Dixie Chicks-bashing music video by Country star Toby Keith.

White House spokesman Tony Snow says the President hopes to recapture the momentum of his "Mission Accomplished" aircraft carrier landing by being shot out of a circus cannon directly onto the stage of a major military rally. President Bush will then serve Texas-style barbecue to the troops after personally slaughtering a small herd of cattle chosen for the event.

"The President wants the world to know that nobody tops the United States when it comes to wartime imagery," said Snow. "Besides, if you can't have fun when conducting an Asian land war, when can you?"

Tags: satire, George Bush, Big Red Buddha, Iraq War