This wisdom quote from Pema Chödrön was posted at
Tricycle's
Brief Teachings page - this is a hard one to master, but it is also one of the most important skills we can develop. When we can learn to stay with the pain, or sadness, or whatever - rather than stuff it down or try to escape it through addictions - we become more present in our lives, present to others, and less likely to be reactive or defensive. This has been for me a path toward happiness.
Pema Chödrön
When anyone asks me how I got involved in Buddhism, I always say it
was because I was so angry with my husband. The truth is that he saved
my life. When that marriage fell apart, I tried hard—very, very hard—to
go back to some kind of comfort, some kind of security, some kind of
familiar resting place. Fortunately for me, I could never pull it off.
Instinctively I knew that annihilation of my old dependent, clinging
self was the only way to go. . . .
Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in
transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in
the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is
an ideal situation, a situation in which we don’t get caught and we can
open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It’s a very tender,
nonaggressive, open-ended state of affairs.
To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a
rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get
revenge—that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that
uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos,
learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path. Getting the knack of
catching ourselves, of gently and compassionately catching ourselves, is
the path of the warrior. We catch ourselves one zillion times as once
again, whether we like it or not, we harden into resentment, bitterness,
righteous indignation— harden in any way, even into a sense of relief, a
sense of inspiration.
Every day we could think about the aggression in the world, in New
York, Los Angeles, Halifax, Taiwan, Beirut, Kuwait, Somalia, Iraq,
everywhere. All over the world, everybody always strikes out at the
enemy, and the pain escalates forever. Every day we could reflect on
this and ask ourselves, “Am I going to add to the aggression in the
world?” Every day, at the moment when things get edgy, we can just ask
ourselves, “Am I going to practice peace, or am I going to war?”
From The Buddha Is Still Teaching
, selected and edited by Jack Kornfield, © 2010. Reprinted with permission of Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston. www.shambhala.com.
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