Friday, November 02, 2007

Third-Person Limited Omniscient Narrator Blown Away By Surprise Ending

Sadly, this is my kind of humor.

From The Onion:

Third-Person Limited Omniscient Narrator Blown Away By Surprise Ending

November 2, 2007 | Issue 43•44

PROVIDENCE, RI—The third-person limited omniscient voice, a narrative mode used to convey a story through the thoughts and senses of a literary character, was reportedly "caught totally off guard" after the main character was unexpectedly killed in the last chapter of the new novel Bertram's Way.

"Holy shit, I did not see that coming. Did you see that coming?" the disembodied literary device said on page 367 following the last paragraph of the novel. "Man, right in the head!"

The popular narrative method said it would try to pay closer attention when utilized in the book's planned sequel, Bertram's Revenge.


Unknown said...

Sadly? Me, I'm sorry this article is from Onion, because I'm greatly wanting to read the book. Third-Person Omnicient narrators are my favorite characters, possibly since I'm Third-Person Omnicient.

By the way, Bill, you should see a dentist. You have a cavity, upper right cuspid.

Unknown said...

Wait a minute. I don't need to read the book; I already know the whole of it.

At lunch, Bill, go with the tuna on whole wheat.

Unknown said...

Don't worry about lunch, Bill. It doesn't matter what I tell you or what you want, I already know what you're having.

The only thing, now, that can prevent you from gorging yourself at Baskin Robbins is if Second-Person Omnicient shows up and wrests control of this comment thread.