Saturday, October 20, 2007

Gratitude 10/20/07

I had dinner tonight with Kira, my ex. Aside from some work related stuff (we both work for the same people sometimes, and even on the same projects), we haven't really talked since she ended our relationship. But we ran into each other at the IFS conference a couple of weeks ago and agreed to get together and clear the air a bit.

I'm glad we did.

It's hard to admit what an ass I was sometimes, and the ways in which I failed her in our relationship. But I'm grateful to her for the time we shared, for all that I learned in our time together, and for her willingness to get together tonight.

It's easy to say I should have done one thing, or not done another -- all the shoulds that echo in our heads from time to time. But it happened as it did. I can no more change things now than I can flap my arms and fly to the moon.

One of the hard parts of life is making mistakes. But one of the gifts of life is that we can choose to learn from those mistakes so that we can become healthier, better people. I think we each have done that in our own way.

I'm amazed by the amount of inner work she has done over the last year. I'm equally impressed -- looking back -- at how much I have grown in the last year as well. The ironic thing is that we both credit Internal Family Systems Therapy (parts work) for much of that growth.

Anyway, tonight I am grateful for a nice dinner with Kira.

What are you grateful for tonight?


Steve said...

I'm grateful that I happened by and read your post. I can think of at least one person I wish I could have a similar kind of meeting with but know that I never will. However, I believe that I have also become a "healthier, better" person than I was the last time I saw that individual, and, believe it or not, my reading of your blog has played a not inconsequential role in this. And I am extremely grateful for that.

william harryman said...

Hi Steve,

Thanks for saying that. I've witnessed your growth over the last couple of years alone (through reading your blog) -- any part my blog may have played in that is extremely wonderful for me.


Jay Andrew Allen said...

I'm grateful that *I* stopped being an ass, and left Seattle to come to Oklahoma to reunite with my wife and children. Having them back in my life is the best blessing of all.

I've been fighting the idea of moving to Oklahoma for years. I've always let my prejudices stand in the way of cutting the cord with liberal Seattle, and moving into The Evil Bible Belt ("now with 50% more Jesus!"). Of course, as irony would have it, this move has been the best thing that's happened to me in years. Funny how we often fight hardest against what's best for us.