Satire: Bush Defaults on Loan Payment -- China Forecloses on Mortgaged White House

From Unconfirmed Sources:

BUSH DEFAULTS ON LOAN PAYMENT. CHINA FORECLOSES ON MORTGAGED WHITE HOUSE

by Gunther Schnitzel
WASHINGTON -- -- President George Bush, his wife Laura, and First Dog Barney,watched in unbelieving dismay as their personal possessions were carried from the White House and piled on the Pennsylvania Avenue sidewalk.

An angry President Bush started walking toward the burly Chinese 'repo man' in charge, but Karl Rove held him back.

" Sorry, George, they are perfectly within their legal rights. I just read the contract you signed when you mortgaged the White House for $ 132 million to finance the war in Iraq after the treasury went dry . One payment default and it became theirs!"

Armed Secret Service agents who rushed to the scene, withdrew after conferring with Xi Chui Zang, CEO of the Gold Dragon Mortgage Company of Shanghai and Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, who was rushed to the scene. " Regretfully, it's all legal," said Roberts. "Karl is right." He turned to the President, "You signed an airtight legal mortgage. But they are removing only your personal possessions, Unfortunately, you signed away everything that was there when you moved in, They belong to the Chinese finance company now,... Lincoln's bed, irreplaceable historic documents, Admiral Farragut's sword, JFK's desk,... everything." Roberts shook his head sadly. "Before you signed it, you should have let ME read it instead of Gonzales."

" What will we do now, George?" wailed Laura, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Don't worry, dear." said Bush, We'll leave this afternoon for the ranch in Crawford."

Justice Roberts put his arm around Bush's shoulder. "Mr. President, I hesitate to tell you this, but Air Force One and the ranch were foreclosed and repossessed yesterday.

" But we had no trouble borrowing from China in the past to run my war on terrorism." said Bush.

" Mr. President, the treasury is broke. The war and tax breaks to the wealthy cleaned it out. You spent every last cent. Secretary of the Treasury, John Snow, is in New Zealand seeking political asylum. The USA has been downgraded to 'deadbeat nation' by the IMF. This rating is below that of Haiti and Rwanda. I'm so sorry, really sorry, Mr. President! but I'm sure that your friend, Rush Limbaugh, can put you and Laura up at his Florida Estate."

The group sadly watched, as the U.S. flag was lowered from the White House staff, and replaced by the yellow starred red flag of the Peoples Republic of China.

Tags: satire, humor, Unconfirmed Sources, national debt, China, White House