Thursday, June 07, 2007

Facing My Fears

Today I made a decision that may cost me someone I love very much. But it's the right decision. Still, in doing this, I am forced to face my fears -- the greatest of which is losing the people I love.

I know where the fear comes from -- I was thirteen when my father died. Every major loss since then has been a replay of that original loss in one way or another. In the past, I have allowed the fear to dictate my decisions, but no longer.

I have often stayed in unhealthy situations out of fear. This has been bad for me and for the other person involved. Sometimes I need to distance myself from these kinds of situations, and until now I haven't known how to do it. Still, there is no comfort in knowing I have made the right decision for my life.

But there is a sense of empowerment from having faced down one of my darkest fears. It will be a daily struggle to stick with my decision, but I am committed to being healthy and whole. And this choice offers me (and her) the best chance at having that.

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