Note to Self: Ignore Your Ego

I've got to get my life more in balance. Too much work and too little play makes Bill a grouchy boy. Money is nice, and feeling good about my job has its rewards. However, too little sleep, too little unstructured time, and too little time to write decent blog entries are taking their toll.

In this one small area of my life, I'm turning into my dad. I'd rather try to walk to Hawaii than become my dad. He died at 54 of heart disease brought on by poor diet, no exercise, and working too much. I've beat the first two, but I don't like to gamble.

I used to think of working too much as a man thing--pressure to succeed and all that crap. Now I think it's more about the ego's need to stay busy so that there is no time to dismantle it. And like a good little drone, I go where my ego tells me to go.

I also think my ego believes that working hard, making money, receiving recognition as a good employee/trainer/person, and whatever else comes with success will make it stronger, happier, more indestructible.

This is a shadow issue for me. I am only recently beginning to have some awareness of it--and an awareness that I am not listening to the other voice in my head that is saying, "Don't take on another client! You don't have enough time in your life already."

Unfortunately, that voice is a bit higher up the developmental ladder, and its perks don't compare well with the toys that ego wants and can get by working more hours. The choice is simple: more balance and more sanity, or more money and a new car/training seminar/vacation, and so on. I'm making a Red/Orange choice here, rather than the healthier Green/Yellow option.

Okay, admitting I have a problem is the first step.

[Image: Broken Ego]