Monday, January 01, 2007

100 Most Annoying Things from 2006

Brought to you by the fine folks at retroCRUSH, the top 100 most annoying things from 2006 -- but I'm only listing the top ten. The other 90 are worth a visit to the site. Warning: May contain objectionable language and crude humor.

10 The Transportation Safety Administration
Thanks for keeping the skies safe by keeping me from bringing fluids and gels on the plane. Looks like I'm stuck with Amtrak now, when I need to travel with my "Sam's Club Jumbo Vat O' Love Lube".

9 Cynthia McKinney
Watching this crazy congressman defend herself for hitting a police officer was funny, but it was good to see her defeated in her re-election attempt. At least she's still got her side job as loveable typing instructor, Mavis Beacon, to fall back on.

8 Snakes On A Plane
Ha this movie is so great, cause Sam Jackson says, "I want these muthafuckin snakes off this muthafuckin PLANE!" HA HAW HAHHHH! That's great stuff! I hope letting people on the internet steer the direction of movies doesn't continue, otherwise we're going to be treated with "I'd Hit It: The Movie" and "LOL: THE MOTION PICTURE" soon.

7 Ann Coulter
Claimed 9/11 widows enjoyed their husband's deaths in her book Godless: The Church of Liberalism. If you think that was a controversial title, it's at least more marketable than the publisher's original suggestion, "Attention Whore: Rants From An Irrelevant Cunt."

6 Rush Limbaugh

Suggested Michael J. Fox was faking his Parkinson's tremors in a political ad for sympathy, but totally gives Tina Yothers a free pass. I know that doesn't make sense, but Tina Yothers paid me $50 to get her name in the top 10 to help jump start her career.

5 Katie Couric

What are the odds we'll see Katie singing a campy goodbye song on top of a piano next year? And that publicity stunt where Lloyds of London ensured her receding gums for a million dollars backfired horribly.

4 John Mark Karr

Though his claims that he killed Jon Benet Ramsey were false, Karr made me wish The Supreme Court made it legal to execute people for being really creepy.

3 OJ Simpson and Judith Reagan

OJ pulled off the impossible by coming off as an even more worthless piece of shit with his book "If I Did It" which was thankfully yanked before hitting the book stores. And for Judith Reagan to even think of throwing millions at Simpson to publish the book in the first place is vomit-inducing. Though she's been fired, look for Regan to bring us classics like "Let's Pretend I Really Killed Laci", and Mark David Chapman's "I Was Aiming For Yoko."

2 Suri Cruise
The last baby to get this much press attention was Damien. Well, at least we know Tom Cruise isn't weird anymore now that he has a kid.

1 Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears

From Britney's deadly baby care techniques to Lindsay's crazy Blackberry ramblings, these two capped off the year by seeing how many times they could show off their uncovered crotches to the press. You know you're out of control when Paris Hilton has to pull your legs closed. If they aren't stopped soon, they're going to mutate into a new form of skank pandemic that no amount of penicillin can stop!

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