Monday, January 15, 2007

Facing Problems


This was the Daily Om for January 8, 2007:
Facing Problems
Running Away versus Moving Forward

There are times when change—moving to a new city or a new home, or changing careers—is the right thing at the right time. But there are also times when the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from problems that need to be faced rather than avoided. These are the kinds of problems that recur in our lives. For example, issues with coworkers that seem to arise at every job we take, or repeatedly getting into unhealthy relationships. A move might temporarily distract us, and even cure the problem for a time, simply by taking us out of the situation in which the problem fully manifested itself. However, the problem will eventually appear again in our new situation.

One way to make sure you aren’t running away from your problems is to notice whether you are moving towards something that is exciting in its own right, as opposed to something that is appealing only because it is not where you are now. For example, if you are leaving a city because you feel you can’t afford it, you could be reinforcing poverty consciousness, and you might find that you are unable to make ends meet in your new city as well. It would ultimately be less of an effort to stay where you are and look more deeply into your beliefs about money. You may discover that as you address these issues, you are able to make more money simply by changing your mindset. You may still decide to move, but it will be an act with a positive intention behind it and not an escape, which could make all the difference.

Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end. When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.
I think it's good to look at our lives in this way. Many of us face the same problems over and over again because we walk away from them when they come up rather than facing them and learning whatever lesson is there to be learned.

I know a couple who have moved to several cities within the last two years looking for the perfect place. I doubt they will ever settle down in one place for long -- they will always find something lacking. So off they go in search of the next perfect place, when what really is lacking is within them.

Although this Daily Om advocates for moving toward something exciting as the test of whether or not we are running away from our problems, this isn't always true. Sometimes we need to move on not because there is something new and exciting awaiting us, but because where we are is not healthy.

Many people leave relationships not because someone new and better is waiting for us around the next corner, but because the one we are leaving is not healthy, has not future, or has simply lost its magic beyond any ability to regain it. There is nothing wrong with leaving these situations. And rather than feeling free and excited (which will come later), we often feel sad and afraid. In this case, facing our problems may mean making that decision to leave.

All that said, I still like the final paragraph of the Om:
Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end. When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.
That's good advice for any situation.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shalom William

This is an interesting post so thanks for sharing.

I think you bring up several points either directly or in the subtext of this post but of course I could be reading too much into things. One thing in particular which I agree with is the idea of facing one's problems instead of avoiding them. For example in my own life I spent over a decade of avoiding my alcohol abuse because I couldn't imagine my life without it. The alternatives were just unimaginable and the idea of giving up the drink was insurmountable. Now looking back with several years of sobriety I think to myself what could be easier than not picking up a drink? It's certainly a lot less difficult than managing the hangovers, loss of friends, jobs and love ones. Yup it's a lot easier not to pick up a drink than it is to deal with any one thing that comes after that drink has been drunk.

All of that to say that I agree with the whole idea of looking into one's issues as a way of freeing up energy in order to move forward.

Anyhow thanks again for interesting Monday morning read.

Be well

william harryman said...

Glad you found this useful. Sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself but in different words, yet I know I still need reminders from time to time.

I did the same thing as you with alcohol -- and now, after nearly nine years, a beer here or there is harmless and I don't feel that incessant need to escape myself (or when I do, I sit on the cushion rather than reach for a beer).

One of the lessons I have learned over the years is that it takes much more energy to hide from ourselves than it does to face the hard stuff and move through it. That's why I liked this Daily Om.

Peace,
Bill

Anonymous said...

this is nice. thank you. and thank you for telling us all elements of the picture, and of the exceptions with what you are trying to tell us.