This is a traditional teaching from the Sufi tradition, but the authors of a textbook on therapeutic techniques offer it as a lesson for therapists - a reminder about meeting people where they are, not where we are or want them to be.
This tale comes from:
THE GREAT WATERMELON SLAYER
Counselors can draw from many sources of information in their understanding and practice of their profession. Such sources can include tales from many cultures, such as the following story, which comes from traditional teaching tales of Sufism. In the tale’s, readers will find the essence of what it means to approach clients effectively.
Once, a long time ago, a man stumbled into a land of fools. The people lived in terror because they were afraid of a monster that lay outside their village. The stranger listened to their stories of fear, and despite his trepidation, he asked to see the monster. The people took him to the edge of the village where they looked out over a field and began to tremble with horror. “There it is! There it is!” they screamed. The stranger looked but saw nothing except a watermelon. He said, “Where is it? Is it behind that watermelon?” To which the people replied that the object he noticed was the monster. “That’s not a monster!” he exclaimed, and he proceeded to go out to the watermelon, kneel beside it, smash it in half, and eat it. When he turned around he saw the people had turned white with even greater fear. “Look!” they shouted, “he killed the monster and is even eating it! He is a worse monster than the first one! Let’s get him!” and they chased him away with pitchforks.
A year passed, and a seed of the first watermelon grew into another, even larger watermelon. At that time, another man walked into the same land of fools. Again the people were living in fear of another great monster that had sprouted in the field outside their village. This stranger was more clever than the first, for upon seeing the “monster,” he realized the irrationality of their fear. So, almost immediately upon his seeing the watermelon, he jumped back in fear, despite knowing what it was. Then he, along with the villagers, made his way slowly toward the “monster.” As he approached the melon, he showed increasing trepidation, taking a step backward for each two steps forward. Eventually, he pretended to find the courage to touch the beast. Looking astounded that the beast had not devoured him, he encouraged others from the village to come and touch the watermelon as well. Over time, he was able to help the people approach it, eventually eat it, and save the seeds for the following summer when they could cultivate them. This man became known as the Great Watermelon Slayer.
Many cultures either consciously or unconsciously recognize the error of approach. There are customs regarding initial meetings and folktales about such meetings. Handshakes work well for some people, whereas hugs or kisses on the cheeks are effective approaches for others; still, many others prefer not to make physical contact when greeting. Though literature from the emerging field regarding culture as it relates to counseling has yet to agree on a succinct definition of culture, one thing that is agreed upon is that counselors will benefit from not limiting clients to the general stereotypes that permeate their cultures. When counselors treat all clients with dignity, respect, and sensitivity, they can quickly become mindful of the framework of customs, knowledge, and experience that serve as the context of their angst. Counselors’ respect for their clients needs to begin in their approach to them.
Meeting people in the context of their own experiences to help them create new knowledge based on what they already know is the cornerstone of constructivist learning theory, and a story like “The Great Watermelon Slayer” is an excellent teaching tale for emphasizing the importance of meeting people where they are. The story provides a model for avoiding the errors of approach and judgment and a framework for respecting others’ autonomy. Just as one puts the second block of a building on the cornerstone, so, too, is it important for therapists to build on the existing knowledge and attitudes of the clients they counsel.
Conte, C. (2009). Advanced Techniques for Counseling and Psychotherapy. New York: Springer Publishing Company; p. 10-11.
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Good Morning WH!
ReplyDeleteIn case you haven't seen the formatting problem with the Three Jesuses post I thought I would mention it. The article looks good.
Thank you for your great work on this blog. And thank you for any efforts to fix the formatting problem.
Hi Anon,
ReplyDeleteThank you for altering me to the formatting issues on that other post, I was not aware of it.
I tinkered with the html a bit, so it should be fixed now.