A lot of parts work has looked at the dysfunctional parts we have, but there are also very useful and helpful parts. Back when I was a Jungian, I wrote an article on The Shadow's Role as Guide (Listening to Raven). In this article from Jay Early, he looks at the Inner Mentor that we all have.
The problem, in my opinion, is that we seldom find this part in ourselves and then end up projecting it onto someone else, usually as a teacher, but often as a guru. If we could simply find and develop this part in ourselves, we wouldn't get caught up with teachers and gurus who can often become abusive.
Check out the IFS Growth Programs Blog for more information on parts work, including an introductory evening.Filed Under (Inner Critic) by Jay Earley on 03-01-2010In our continuing study of the Inner Critic, we have coined a new phrase and concept. Your Inner Mentor is the healthy version of the Critic. It performs a necessary function in your psyche that the Critic does in a destructive way. It looks at any shortcomings you might have, mistakes you’ve made, or ways that you need to grow. However, it does this with complete self-acceptance, without any harshness or self-judgment. It is kind and caring toward you in seeing where you need self-improvement. It is open to any criticisms from others but doesn’t automatically believe them. It encourages you to look at yourself with humility to see the ways that you need to change how you operate in the world, and it helps you to make these changes in a supportive, encouraging way, just like a kindly mentor. When you have worked on one of your Inner Critic parts and it is transformed, it becomes an Inner Mentor for you.
Let’s see how this might work externally by looking at an example of dealing with a child. Suppose you are a parent, and your child doesn’t clean up his room the way you asked him to. If you act like an Inner Critic, you might say in a harsh, loud voice, “You lazy slob. You’re no good. Can’t you do anything right!” However, if you instead act like an Inner Mentor, you might say in a kindly supportive voice, “Oh, honey, that’s not quite what I was looking for. Let me show you how to clean up a room. Would you like me to do it with you?”
The Inner Mentor and the Inner Champion (see previous blogs) are integrated with each other, not polarized. They naturally support each other. The Inner Champion helps you to feel confident and valuable, and the Inner Mentor helps you to improve while still feeling good about yourself.
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