Mother Jones - You Might Be a Liberal If...

Funny - based on this I am a liberal conservative, or does that make me post-partisan?

You Might Be a Liberal If...

News: 10 findings on the party in your mind.

By Kiera Butler

January/February 2009 Issue

You may be a liberal if...you were the Tracy Flick of your nursery school. Confident, dominating preschoolers grow into liberals, while fearful and easily victimized tots turn conservative.

You may be a conservative if...you alphabetize your underwear drawer. Conservatives are more likely to have neat and tidy rooms, and liberals messy ones.

You may be a liberal if...you're up all night. 28% of liberals have insomnia, compared with 16% of conservatives.

You may be a conservative if...you're a woman who craves chocolate chip cookies. Liberal ladies prefer theirs fruit filled.

You may be a liberal if...you're in the mood for Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie-Dough Cheesecake. Liberals' chain eateries of choice are the Cheesecake Factory, Panera Bread, and Starbucks, while conservatives dine at Hardee's and Fuddruckers.

You may be a conservative if...you're happy with tap water. Domino's Pizza claims Republican customers are less likely to order beverages.

You may be a liberal if...you're too lazy to walk to the pizza place. The Domino's survey found that Democrats rely on delivery more than Republicans.

You may be a conservative if...you have a son. Parents of boys are more likely to be conservative than parents of girls.

You may be a liberal if...you possess Obama-like calm. When shown a picture of a spider on a human face, most conservatives jump in fright; liberals react roughly the same as when they're shown a picture of a bunny.

You may be a conservative if...your dreams are chaste. Nearly half of liberals report having erotic dreams; only 38% of conservatives admit to it. (This was before Sarah Palin.)

Kiera Butler is an associate editor at Mother Jones.

Photo: Reese Witherspoon: Paramount Pictures; Pizza: Todd Smith/iStockPhoto; Rabbit: Lewis Wright/iStockPhoto; Spider: Alberto A. Sanchez/iStockPhoto

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