Love, Sex, and Non-attachment

A good article at Wildmind Buddhist Meditation on sexuality, relationships, and Buddhism.

Love, sex, and non-attachment

Sunada (January 22, 2009)

Is it possible to be in a committed sexual relationship and follow the Buddha’s teaching on non-attachment? Does loving someone deeply by definition mean we’re attached to them? Sunada doesn’t see these ideas as contradictory, and explores what an enlightened relationship might look like.

This year, my husband David and I will mark 27 years of being happily married. Am I attached to him? You bet I am. If he were to die tomorrow, of course I would be devastated. And am I completely unselfish in my regard for him? If I were honest, I’d have to say no. After all, what if he were to come home one day and say, “Sunada, I met a new woman and we love each other very much.” A completely other-regarding response would be, “I’m happy for you!” No, I couldn’t possibly imagine saying that.

My understanding of attachment is that it’s not about what we have or don’t have, but what our expectations of them are.

So does that make me a bad, overly-attached Buddhist? I would argue no.

Read the whole article.

Tags: Love, Sex, Non-attachment, Buddhism, relationships, sexuality, Wildmind Buddhist Meditation, Sunada