The term "meditation" carries with it a burden of trendy, pseudo-mystical connotations. The biggest mistake people make is to think that they will "get something" out of meditation. It would be more accurate to think they will be getting rid of something. Awareness practice undermines our unwitting subjugation to hypermentation. It cuts through the cascade of thoughts and feelings that distract us from the present moment where life actually happens. The inner newsreel, with its imagined or distorted dramas, becomes less urgent and seductive. The unexamined hopes and fears that have thrown us into automatic or reflexive behavior lose their power to toss us about. What we get rid of, initially, is a great deal of compelling noise with no point or real substance to it. Even by becoming aware of its nature we de-reify it, render it less solid and intractable.
...How can we sort out our neuroses when the mind is a wild, chaotic mess of fragmented thought? How can we work with our anger when we experience it as a deluge of highly charged, urgent impulses, all mixed in with fleeting bits of narrative, physical sensations, whispers of memory, rushes of fear, and the visceral press to act? We can't. Every beginning meditator discovers very quickly that the mind has a mind of its own. No beginner sits down, says, "Peace! Be still!" and accomplishes enlightenment. It's enough at the start just to see, discover, and acknowledge the chatter. That, in itself, is a great step towards self-awareness. Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche taught that the awareness of our confusion is the first step towards clarity.
Over time, we can learn to just take note of whatever arises without being pushed and pulled emotionally. We can sit still and not respond reflexively to our hypermentation. We can allow ourselves to rest, to gently release thoughts, to find a quiet space apart from the discursive jumble. We can choose to be simply and quietly aware. In these quiet moments, experiences arise much more clearly and distinctly. Only then can we discover the source of our suffering and our anger.
I once attended a conference between a highly esteemed Tibetan lama, Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche, and a group of psychiatrists. Someone asked Rinpoche: "What is meditation?" Rinpoche looked playfully puzzled, pretended not to understand, and after a brief consultation with his translator, answered: "Meditation? Meditation? I don't know what that means. We have another word for it which means 'paying attention to.'" Whatever the style, to meditate is to pay attention.
~ From Vinegar into Honey: Seven Steps to Understanding and Transforming Anger, Aggression, and Violence by Ron Leifer, M.D., published by Snow Lion Publications
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