So, I'm curious if any female readers out there would like to say anything about this list. Please share your thoughts in the comments, and be anonymous if your prefer.
50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand
1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
41. I love it when you're sweaty.
42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.
Tags:
out of these maybe 10 are correct. For me anyway.
ReplyDeleteE
Just a quick comment:
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the first five, I wasn't sure if I should laugh or vomit. There are some on that list that have some honesty to them. It seems interesting. I wonder what our lists would look like if we compiled them? And the same for the men?
I know, the list seems based on some idea of what women think by men, instead of what women really DO think. which apperently are farther apart then I previously thought.
ReplyDeleteErica
Its unfortunate that Womens' Magazines (in the UK at least) also have similarly adolescent-sounding lists with titles like 'What does your man really think'?
ReplyDeleteJust goes to show how all stereotyping is enhanced by the media?
As seems particulary evident relating to no 44, which is a sadly thoughtless, depressing and humourless statement.
But fantasy and delusion sells, doesn't it? Truth is not popular.
Was this published on April Fool's Day by any chance? Scanning this list, I'm thinking, ya gotta be kidding me...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments!
ReplyDeleteThis is a real article, pretty typical for Men's Health. I suspect that this was written by men, not by women (no author was attributed, only illustrators).
I think that Erica is right -- this highlights how little men actually know about how women feel, even when they try to see things from a female perspective. A classic empathic failure.
Peace,
Bill