Another good Daily Om from yesterday:
Uncover Your True FaceWe all wear various masks, but the question is this: Do we do it with choice, or do we unconsciously slide into a certain role when we are in a certain situation?
Underneath the Mask
Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.
There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.
Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.
Most of us are unconscious that we have changed masks from one situation to another. A man may be with his wife in the car, going to visit his folks and feel himself (if he were to think about it) as a husband and maybe a father. But as soon as he walks into his parents' house he might immediately slip into the role of the dutiful son (or whatever mask he wore for his family).
Another way to look at these masks, the ones we wear most often, is as subpersonalities. These are selves that we all carry within, each one having a very specific role to fill -- father, son, controller, inner critic, artist, and so on. Most of the time, when these different selves take over, we are completely unaware of the them. But once we begin to identify them we can manage them and use them as needed rather than be overwhelmed by them.
One of the ways we can begin to disidentify with our subpersonalities is by developing an observer self. This is a part of the psyche that is separate from all the subs, a kind of witness. This is the part of ourselves that can see us being an ass and be completely detached and thinking, "Why am I doing this and how do I make it stop?"
When we can disidentify from our subs or our masks, they no longer control us. This is a lifelong process, however, and there will be new subs/masks that we discover as we meet new people or get into new situations.
Behind all these masks and subpersonalities, there is a core self that is our true nature. This part of ourself is whole and complete and wise. Some people call it a higher self, or maybe even a soul -- whatever you want to call it, there is this light inside each of us that does not need masks and subpersonalites -- these false faces are creations of a fragile psyche that are designed to protect our little egos.
Do you know you true face? Can you feel it?
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