Satire: GOP Congress Moves National Election Date to March

From ScrappleFace:

GOP Congress Moves National Election Date to March

by Scott Ott

(2006-10-15) — With polls showing that Republicans could lose their majority in Congress in November, the GOP-controlled House and Senate yesterday voted to move the national date for Congressional elections to March 15, 2007.

“The November date, we felt, was setting an unreasonable timeline,” said House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-IL. “With elections in March, we’ll have time to get out the Republican message of small government, lean budgets, strong borders, and aggressive action against terrorists and governments who harbor them.”

Rep. Hastert said it would also give the Republicans time to actually reduce the size and influence of the federal government, cut the budget and to secure the borders.

“It’s always nice to have something to show behind your talking points,” Rep. Hastert said. “It would provide a clear contrast with the Democrats.”

Asked if the unprecedented measure might raise Constitutional issues, Mr. Hastert said, “Hey, we’re the majority. We can do whatever we want. We passed the Medicare prescription drug bill, didn’t we?”

Tags: ScrappleFace, Congress, satire, elections