Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Friday, August 23, 2013

Human Brains Are Hardwired for Empathy and Friendship


U.Va. psychologist James A. Coan conducted an fMRI study that monitored statistical associations between brain activations indicating self-focused threat to those indicating threats to a familiar friend or an unfamiliar stranger.

The results strongly suggest that we are hardwired to empathize because we closely associate people who are close to us – friends, spouses, lovers – with our very selves. As Coan told an interviewer, "People close to us become a part of ourselves, and that is not just metaphor or poetry, it’s very real."

One of the statements from the summary, to me, does not follow from the research:
In other words, our self-identity is largely based on whom we know and empathize with.
Well, no. The study suggests that we empathize with people who have become part of our lives through some form of familiarity and/or intimacy. We make them a part of us, not the other way around. With the increase in familiarity and empathy, the person who was other becomes like me and I feel the same concern for that person as I do for myself.

First the abstract to the original study, which is sequestered behind a paywall, then below that is the summary of the article based off of the press release.

Familiarity promotes the blurring of self and other in the neural representation of threat


Lane Beckes, James A. Coan and Karen Hasselmo
Received September 16, 2011
Accepted April 16, 2012

Abstract

Neurobiological investigations of empathy often support an embodied simulation account. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), we monitored statistical associations between brain activations indicating self-focused threat to those indicating threats to a familiar friend or an unfamiliar stranger. Results in regions such as the anterior insula, putamen and supramarginal gyrus indicate that self-focused threat activations are robustly correlated with friend-focused threat activations but not stranger-focused threat activations. These results suggest that one of the defining features of human social bonding may be increasing levels of overlap between neural representations of self and other. This article presents a novel and important methodological approach to fMRI empathy studies, which informs how differences in brain activation can be detected in such studies and how covariate approaches can provide novel and important information regarding the brain and empathy.
Full Citation:
Beckes, L, Coan, JA, Hasselmo, K. (2013, May 3). Familiarity promotes the blurring of self and other in the neural representation of threat. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience; 8(6): 670-677. doi: 10.1093/scan/nss046


Here is the summary of the research from Medical Xpress.

Human brains are hardwired for empathy, friendship, study shows

by Fariss Samarrai


U.Va. psychologist James A. Coan conducted the study. "People close to us become a part of ourselves, and that is not just metaphor or poetry, it’s very real," he said. Credit: Dan Addison

Perhaps one of the most defining features of humanity is our capacity for empathy – the ability to put ourselves in others' shoes. A new University of Virginia study strongly suggests that we are hardwired to empathize because we closely associate people who are close to us – friends, spouses, lovers – with our very selves.


"With familiarity, other people become part of ourselves," said James Coan, a U.Va. psychology professor in the College of Arts & Sciences who used functional magnetic resonance imaging brain scans to find that people closely correlate people to whom they are attached to themselves. The study appears in the August issue of the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.

"Our self comes to include the people we feel close to," Coan said.

In other words, our self-identity is largely based on whom we know and empathize with.

Coan and his U.Va. colleagues conducted the study with 22 young adult participants who underwent fMRI scans of their brains during experiments to monitor brain activity while under threat of receiving mild electrical shocks to themselves or to a friend or stranger.

The researchers found, as they expected, that regions of the brain responsible for threat response – the anterior insula, putamen and supramarginal gyrus – became active under threat of shock to the self. In the case of threat of shock to a stranger, the brain in those regions displayed little activity. However when the threat of shock was to a friend, the brain activity of the participant became essentially identical to the activity displayed under threat to the self.

"The correlation between self and friend was remarkably similar," Coan said. "The finding shows the brain's remarkable capacity to model self to others; that people close to us become a part of ourselves, and that is not just metaphor or poetry, it's very real. Literally we are under threat when a friend is under threat. But not so when a stranger is under threat."

Coan said this likely is because humans need to have friends and allies who they can side with and see as being the same as themselves. And as people spend more time together, they become more similar.

"It's essentially a breakdown of self and other; our self comes to include the people we become close to," Coan said. "If a friend is under threat, it becomes the same as if we ourselves are under threat. We can understand the pain or difficulty they may be going through in the same way we understand our own pain."

This likely is the source of empathy, and part of the evolutionary process, Coan reasons.

"A threat to ourselves is a threat to our resources," he said. "Threats can take things away from us. But when we develop friendships, people we can trust and rely on who in essence become we, then our resources are expanded, we gain. Your goal becomes my goal. It's a part of our survivability."

People need friends, Coan added, like "one hand needs another to clap."

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Smoothing Transitions - 10 Steps to Making Change Easier

From Tuesday's Daily Om, a list of ten steps to smooth transitions - to make change easier and less daunting. There's nothing much to disagree with here, although I would probably add number 11. Take a walk in the woods, along a creek or river, in the mountains, or in a desert, but get out into nature. Doing so helps us put our own struggles in perspective.


Smoothing Transitions

10 Steps to Making Change Easier


by Madisyn Taylor

Change can be hard for anyone, following these ideas below can make it a little less stressful.


1. Begin by making small changes or break up large-scale changes into more manageable increments. This can make you feel better about handling the changes you are about to make while making you more comfortable with change in general.

2. Mentally link changes to established daily rituals. This can make changes like taking on a new habit, starting a new job, or adapting to a new home happen much more smoothly. For example, if you want to begin meditating at home, try weaving it into your morning routine.

3. Going with the flow can help you accept change instead of resisting it. If you stay flexible, you will be able to ride out change without too much turbulence.

4. When a change feels most stressful, relief can often be found in finding the good that it brings. An illness, a financial loss, or a broken relationship can seem like the end of the world, yet they also can be blessings in disguise.

5. Remember that all change involves a degree of learning. If you find change particularly stressful, try to keep in mind that after this period of transformation has passed, you will be a wiser person for it.

6. Remember that upheaval and confusion are often natural parts of change. While we can anticipate certain elements that a change might bring, it is impossible to know everything that will happen in advance. Be prepared for unexpected surprises, and the winds of change won’t easily knock you over.

7. Don’t feel like you have to cope with changing circumstances or the stress of making a change on your own. Talk about what’s going on for you with a friend or write about it in a journal. Sharing your feelings can give you a sense of relief while helping you find the strength to carry on.

8. Give yourself time to accept any changes that you face. And as change happens, recognize that you may need time to adjust to your new situation. Allow yourself a period of time to reconcile your feelings. This can make big changes feel less extreme.

9. No matter how large or difficult a change is, you will eventually adapt to these new circumstances. Remember that regardless of how great the change, all the new that it brings will eventually weave itself into the right places in your life.

10. If you’re trying to change a pattern of behavior or navigate your way through a life change, don’t assume that it has to be easy. Wanting to cry or being moody during a period of change is natural. Then again, don’t assume that making a change needs to be hard. Sometimes, changes are meant to be that easy.

What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Clive Thompson - Brave New World of Digital Intimacy


A cool article from The New York Times on the newish phenomena of "ambient awareness," which occurs through the near constant presence of social media spaces.

Here's a key quote:
Social scientists have a name for this sort of incessant online contact. They call it “ambient awareness.” It is, they say, very much like being physically near someone and picking up on his mood through the little things he does — body language, sighs, stray comments — out of the corner of your eye. Facebook is no longer alone in offering this sort of interaction online. In the last year, there has been a boom in tools for “microblogging”: posting frequent tiny updates on what you’re doing. The phenomenon is quite different from what we normally think of as blogging, because a blog post is usually a written piece, sometimes quite long: a statement of opinion, a story, an analysis. But these new updates are something different. They’re far shorter, far more frequent and less carefully considered. One of the most popular new tools is Twitter, a Web site and messaging service that allows its two-million-plus users to broadcast to their friends haiku-length updates — limited to 140 characters, as brief as a mobile-phone text message — on what they’re doing. There are other services for reporting where you’re traveling (Dopplr) or for quickly tossing online a stream of the pictures, videos or Web sites you’re looking at (Tumblr). And there are even tools that give your location. When the new iPhone, with built-in tracking, was introduced in July, one million people began using Loopt, a piece of software that automatically tells all your friends exactly where you are.
My girlfriend thinks I am addicted, and maybe I am. Many of my friends are scattered around the country, so this is like hanging out, except that we are hanging out in cyber-space. Definitely a weird concept when you think about it.

Go read the article, it's pretty interesting.


Monday, February 11, 2008

Anam Cara - The Soul Friend


My friend Jami gave me this great book by the recently late John O'Donohue called Anam Cara. Here is a very cool quote on deep friendship.

In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world is the "soul friend." In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the "friend of your soul." The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship....

In everyone's life, there is a great need for an anam cara, a soul friend. In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. When you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person's soul.

I agree that everyone needs this, and so few of us have it. I feel blessed to have two such friends in my life these days (hi Susie, hi Jami).

And contrary to the popular thoughts on male-female friendships, it is possible to have a deep, soulful relationship with someone of the opposite sex without there being some romantic and/or sexual agenda. A man and a woman can feel deep love -- what one might consider agape rather than Eros -- for each other without going to bed together. In fact, this love can be shared between men and between women.

This is not to say that there isn't sexual energy (the Eros element), because I think there is in all relationships. But there is a difference in feeling the energy rising from the battery of the body and wanting to engage in a sexual relationship. Too many people confuse these things. I have -- going the other way (mistaking agape for Eros).

Anyway, I think this is a valuable concept that we need to recognize in our lives -- to seek it out and nurture it. It's hard to find, but when we do, we need to be brave enough to embrace it.